Pairing Food with Organizational Repair
- Betsy Thomas
- Sep 24
- 5 min read
Updated: Sep 26

When we break bread together, there is a generosity of spirit present. In organizations that are contracting in conflict, pain, misunderstandings - we as practitioners want to create the conditions for generosity of spirit, and food is such a good way to do that. Leaders who create those conditions by bringing pizza or donuts to work, who offer lunch or even a birthday cake - they display that generosity of spirit, and they model it through these simple actions and offerings.
I often use food with friends, families, colleagues, and clients. It invites people to be at ease with me, to come into a warm and caring space. I used it in my own company a lot as well - and have had many a hard conversation turn out better than I thought it would because it was accompanied by a friendly cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun. And just before our winter breaks, I always celebrated the hard work my employees had done all year with a fun and garlicky lunch at our favourite neighbourhood Greek restaurant. We laughed, we bonded, we showed pictures of our kids to each other. It injected some joy into our work life, and people recognized how much I cared about them and the work they did.
I learned this way of being from my father. I remember how he threw a big party for all his employees once a year. People brought their showcase recipes to share with each other, and were treated to oysters and delicious barbecue and sodas. It was exciting and it was fun and it built an incredible amount of goodwill with employees and managers.
Here is a simple example of how to use food in repairing organizational life. I worked with an organization where everyone was deeply committed to what they were doing, but having a hard time coordinating with each other to do it together. They accomplished great things, but at huge costs to themselves and each other. People felt chronically unappreciated, exhausted, and stressed at work - as well as misunderstood. There was a constant sense of urgency because communication did not flow and teams were siloed. Work was duplicated, or the right work was not done and efforts had to be made to re-do things because of the lack of coordination or because of what they perceived as the whims of their leaders.
The challenge was to create goodwill within the organization so that people would start to work together better by coming to understand each other's perspectives and priorities. Creating this where there is a historical lack of it is the responsibility of leaders. Employees cannot do this work of breaking down silos between teams on their own, so it is up to leaders to create an atmosphere in which goodwill will flourish. If this is seen to be a priority of their leaders, employees will respond to the modelling of it, and continue to build goodwill within and between their teams.
We planned an activity for the organization that would give them the opportunity to have a series of deep and meaningful conversations together. As a result of our efforts and conversations, and without our mention of anything related to food - the executive director planned an outdoor adventure accompanied by pizza and hot chocolate to round out the day. Great idea, and great instinct! It's hard to hold on to resentments when we are eating pizza together. It is a simple reminder of how human we are, and it creates a warmth and an opening between people.

Early in my career as a consultant, I worked with a couple colleagues on a project in a small non-profit agency where there had been trauma, conflict, and lots of anger at the leader. After spending several weeks there learning about their challenges, we planned a full day activity with the entire organization - to discuss our findings and give them a chance to talk about it all with each other. In the course of designing this activity, I suggested we all share a meal midway through the day. One of my colleagues opposed this idea. Not everyone is comfortable mixing food and professional life. Some worry that eating together blurs roles, creates perceptions of favoritism, or makes consultants and leaders seem “too close” to their teams. These concerns are valid: boundaries do matter, especially in organizations where trust has already been damaged.
But boundaries don’t need to mean distance. Sharing a meal doesn’t erase professional roles—it can actually make them clearer by showing that leaders value both results and relationships. The key is intention: when food is used as a thoughtful gesture to foster dialogue and goodwill, rather than as a substitute for addressing real issues, it becomes a tool for connection without undermining professionalism.
As a consultant, I bring the real me to the table; I come with my experience, my care, and my insights - and often, my lunch! And so, at the end of that project, I took 2 loaves of bread, a veggie paté, and a bread knife to them with a note that encouraged them to break bread together as often as they could. I hope they are still doing that!
I wonder about the resistance people have to mixing up work with our human-ness. My sense is that actually - human closeness and warmth can heal our organizations. I am not afraid to be in relationship with clients - because I believe that it is our connections with others that can enable the self-awareness that fuels change. Organizations are simply people getting together to do things. When we keep ourselves separate, divided, ranked - then we lose the opportunity to move closer and learn how to work with our differences to do fantastic things together. We lose the opportunities to hear from our colleagues how they feel about things, we lose the opportunity for leaders to understand better the details and constraints of the work they are asking their staff to do.
I am not afraid for people to get too close to each other at work. We are boundaried already by our various and different functions, by our coming and going at the beginning and the end of the day. We walk out of our lives every work day to earn our living together. We are doing what needs to be done. Let's get closer so we can do it better together.
Practical Ways Leaders Can Use Food to Build Goodwill
Keep it simple. Coffee, donuts, or pizza can be as meaningful as a catered feast. It’s the gesture of care that matters.
Use meals to mark transitions. Celebrate milestones, close out projects, or ease into tough conversations with food as a backdrop.
Create inclusive spaces. Be mindful of dietary needs, allergies, and cultural differences so everyone feels welcome at the table.
Pair food with dialogue. Use shared meals to encourage storytelling, perspective-taking, and real conversations.
Model generosity. When leaders embody openness, employees mirror that behavior across teams.
Some of the research behind eating together...
Team Performance Cornell University found that firefighters who cooked and ate together performed better as teams than those who didn’t. (Kniffin et al., 2015)
Bonding Through Synchrony When people eat at the same pace, they report stronger feelings of trust and closeness. (Woolley & Fishbach, 2017)
Ancient Ritual Anthropologists note that commensality—sharing meals—has long been central to community-building and conflict resolution across cultures.
Better Negotiations Negotiators who shared food reached agreements faster and with more cooperation than those who didn’t. (Psychological Science, 2019)
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